Build Trust
Bond with your cat by establishing trust. Feed her, provide her with a clean litter box and offer her toys and enriching, interactive activities. Don’t chase her or grab her for forced cuddling if she’s resistant. Instead, take your time and work up to a more physical relationship.
Use Positive Reinforcement
Get your cat to associate you with positive things. For example, talk to her while you feed her, and while she’s eating a special treat, stroke her gently so she associates your touch with good food. Similarly, sit on the couch with treats in your pocket and when she comes over to you on her own, offer a goodie. Your cat will soon figure out that when she’s in close proximity to you, good things happen.
Play Often
If your cat is a bit standoffish, interact with her through play. Use a cat toy wand feather dancer or a cat toys teaser wand toy to grab and keep her attention. When she seems worn out, slow the rate of play and put the toy beside you, or in your lap. When she comes to you, give her a treat to make the interaction a pleasant and rewarding activity.
Start Early, Go Slow
Kittens who are handled from a young age are more likely to be social and physically interactive than those who are not. If you adopt an older kitty or a rescue cat, it may take time and patience to establish trust and for your new pet to let her guard down. Don’t push your cat to cuddle. Some cats may need to work up to physical contact.
Accept Loners
While some cats will land in your lap from the first day you bring them home, others are destined to be loners forever. Older, re-homed cats, abused animals or semi-feral cats may always resist being touched or held. Try to consider this part of their personality and be content to love them from afar.
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